Every member of the tribe would be sent out when they reached a certain age. They would roam the outerlands and there they would learn to appreciate the value of the whole. In order to do this he must learn about fear and love. Everyone knew fear, their first breath was one of fear. This is what drove them to live. This was not their only means of survival, only the most basic. Sonny's tribe and family had shown him a new way. One of expanding the self to encompass many. In this we would live in a better world resulting in a higher chance of survival. Since the day he was born Sonny was shown this idea of love, but now he had to see it on his own. They could only show him things, but in the end he had to see them with his own eyes. His family had shown him love, but he wouldn't really see it until he watched it reflect off of fear. You can not appreciate the light unless you first know the dark. So they sent him out into a world hardened by fear. There he would see how bad the world could be. The lesson not being that this is an awful world, but that we can react to this world in an awful way. HIs memory of the tribe within this context would let him see he had the power to overcome this.
The day came when he must leave. What he was to do specifically was pretty gray. They could tell him no more, now he must hear. He knew this was a test of love and ..... fear. The last time Sonny knew true fear was the day he was born. The rest of his life the tribe had made sure to let him know that everything was going to be all right. Once again he was to be sent head first into fear. And this made his mother worry. Previously his mother's success had hinged upon protecting her son, but now it was the opposite. Everytime before her worry could be resolved with her son's well being, now it was an impossible dillema. Yes, she worried about her son falling down, but she was just as worried that he wouldn't fall down. It was neccessary that he fall down in order to stand up a taller man. And while she couldn't hide the worry she also couldn't explain it to sonny. She couldn't tell him she was sending him out to be hurt. Sonny knew something was wrong; she liked to talk alot but now she wasn't saying anything. He didn't like to see his mother worry. Most of his memories had been ones of euphoria given to him by his mother. He knew what his mother had given him would get him through anything. He stumbled with this trying to express his gratitude: "Don't worry ma, I can take care of myself". This only increased the unrest filling up his mother's eyes. She knew her son was strong, but this test was meant to show him he was not as strong as he might think. Sonny's mother kissed him and he was gone. The outer lands were desolute. Sonny would walk and walk and walk and .....think. He had lots of time to think now. At first he spent time wondering about the machine back home. As time went on this became second chair to this idea of fear. He thought nothing could scare him. Nothing had ever done it before.
Wild dogs roamed the outer lands also. They didn't like the idea of this new guy on their turf. Sonny really had no problem finding food, and his abilities seemed to threaten the dogs. One day after a catch he looked up to see he was being followed by dogs. He watched and waited, trying to figure what these dogs wanted. As the dogs closed in on him he began to feel. His head was confused but his body convinced. He knew at that moment that he needed to do something immediately. He ran.
He was amazed and terrified. Fear had slapped him on the face. It was hard for him to imagine that this force was living inside him. Some pre programming telling him what to do. After that day he started to walk a little lighter. Now he spent most of his time pondering in a cave he had found. It made him feel safe. He longed for the days at home with the others. He would sit in his cave, cold, remembering how warm it would be when the tribe was altogether in the same room. He imagined everyone sitting in the cave with him, warming it up with their bodies. This made him think about this idea of love. He always thought he knew what it was, this great gift he had been given. But now he thought it might just be the way he felt when he knew the dogs weren't following him. It was resolution, it was survival. Before,this preprogrammed fear had never had much chance of escaping, the tribe had made sure it didn't come to that. So he thought maybe this feeling of love was nothing more than getting what he wanted; the answering of his fear and making it quiet. He thought 'yes, all i really know is fear. that is the will to live, and love, love is just the absence of fear'. Really he wasn't sure what anything was anymore, but he was sure of one thing. He knew that feeling love was much better than feeling fear.
